If you're unsure if you're "ready" to see Ready or Not (2019) please run, don't walk, I can assure you, you ARE ready! This is a fun ensemble horror-comedy that really gives us it's all! The characters are developed, the acting is superb, the gore is top-notch, and the story has a very, very satisfying ending. 

*Spoilers*

Ready or Not takes place over the course of a night. Obscenely rich Alex and humble Grace are getting married at his parent's estate. They've earned their money creating playing cards, then board games, sporting goods, and now sports teams. Suspiciously, he gives her multiple chances to call the wedding off, but she's determined to marry into his dysfunctional family for love, not money. He knows something she doesn't. 

On the wedding night, the immediate family is called to the game room, where the new family member gets told the history of the family fortune and are given a wooden box that draws a game for them to play. It could be Old Maid or Chess, but Grace draws Hide and Seek. What everyone there knows except for Grace is that when you draw Hide and Seek you will be hunted to death. Now she must die before dawn, or everyone in the family dies. These are the sacrifices they make to keep their wealth in the name of Satan. 

Alex never told her about Hide and Seek because he didn't want to scare her away, and because it's only happened one other time in his lifetime where someone drew that card. Um, I think I'd still want to know!

Grace thinks the game night is just a weird family tradition, and she hides while each family member is given an antiquated weapon to kill her with, except Alex. The distribution of different weapons to the different characters reminded me of Clue...Emilie with a six shooter in the guest bedroom...(sorry I warned you, this is a "spoiler" section.)

Alex tries to get his new bride out of the house, but things go awry. It's a true roller coaster ride. You learn everyone's motives, but don't know who's good or bad until the end.

You see rich people trying to work for what they believe is the right thing, and Grace has always been alone fighting for herself. So there's a bit of socio-economic underpinnings in the story. She's a true final girl and doesn't need the help of a man to save her. She really evolves from beginning to end. Best of all, she's played by Samara Weaving from The Babysitter, another enjoyable horror comedy.

I love the homage to Heathers at the end where she sits on the steps of the mansion while everything is exploding and on fire behind her and lights up a cigarette. Perfection.

Ready or Not

                        

                            Heathers                                    

The practical effects are refreshing and very well done. The lighting is warm like polished wood. It's darkly funny and fresh. I give it five out of five very sharp daggers. As they say, "Till death do us part."

Here's the trailer...

As an ex-ish-art historian, I have a nice collection of Taschen books in my personal library. Known for reasonably priced quality art books, they recently published a series of books called The Library of Esoterica with subjects that include Tarot, Astrology, and Witchcraft. I had to get the Witchcraft book! 

It's a beautiful visual compendium that summarizes witchcraft, but gives a large enough overview that covers nearly all witchy interests. It covers ancient magical history, world views of witchcraft, and it's evolution. It's a thorough examination of witchcraft that feels current with interviews, explanations, art work, and so many quotes and references you'll want to take a deep dive on your own to find out more. 

There's the Pre-Raphelite classics like The Lady of Shalott by Waterhouse featured.

I was really impressed by how many pieces of artwork, inspired by witchcraft, were made by women. That's not something you learn with a Modern Art History degree, classes always seemed to focus on the work of male artists. It was a nice change. The only thing this book has in common with my old art history books is that it's heavy. Hardcover and over 500 pages you definitely get your moneys worth!

There's more unusual pieces pictured too. Here's one from Penny Slinger called Cats' Eyes from 1974.

One of the editors of The Library of Esoterica: Witchcraft is Pam Grossman. I blogged about her book Waking the Witch. She has a style of writing that's all-inclusive. This book truly makes you feel like you belong, no matter if the word "witch" means outsider, empowerment, or healer to you. All are welcome. 

 The Long Night (2022) aka The Coven isn’t groundbreaking by any means, but it has some striking visuals that would make great one off snapshots, not a full length movie. I almost didn't even want to make a blog out of it because it's not worth the time. 

***SPOILERS AHEAD***

In the whirlwind beginning, we learn about Grace and Jack, a young couple both trying to learn about each other's past. He comes from a rich Hamptons family, and she has been researching her parentage for 10 years. So when she gets a lead to meet her parents, she takes advantage, and they go on a road trip from New York to the deep south. When they arrive at the appointed secluded plantation, odd things begin happening. Grace starts to have dreams and waking visions of a cult in robes, wearing horns and carrying torches. There’s snakes and totems everywhere, and their mysterious homeowner never arrives. Day turns to night, and the cult she sees in her mind is real and surrounding the house. Jack thinks it’s a “good ‘ol boys” southern threat, but Grace seems to know more, we think? Both of them are really scared and intimidated, and the stand-off drags on. She continues going in and out of trances, where the viewer doesn’t know if her visions are real or in her head, or what exactly is going on. The cult members enter the house, attack Jack, and lure Grace out. There are supernatural elements at work, and it’s revealed that there’s a prophecy. Grace is the only one that can free the serpent demon and bring him back. The demon has been a prisoner of the plantation land, and she was born to be it’s host. In a nice contrast, instead of fighting at the climax of the movie, she agrees to “rid the world from pain” and takes the demon into her body. You follow me so far?

It’s broken into chapters that seem redundant, not to mention many slow motion shots trying to fill the space of the movie. The characters actions throughout the movie are extremely questionable and make no sense. I think I yelled WTF at the screen at least three times. The camera angles are strong, there’s a couple jump scares lead by sounds or music, the tone is suspenseful, and the idea of the cult leader being a woman is unexpected. The plot line and the acting are the major flaws in this movie, and watching it makes for a long night. Pun intended. I give this movie one out of five glowing vaginas. (You'd have to watch the whole movie to get the reference, I don't recommend it.)

Trailer, (honestly just watch the trailer, you don't need anything else.)

Thank you for following me on my blogging journey! I can't believe it's been 5 years. This started off as a way to get used to writing more and share my ideas about horror movie and cats ~ in my mind the perfect combo! So check out my giveaway below, it's big and this year I've included books for all you book junkies! 

Included in the giveaway...

1. Ghost Pusheen LED Candle with Remote

2. Ghost Pusheen Pom-Pom Garland

3. Ghost Pusheen Enamel Pin Set

4. Camp Pusheen Collapsible Straw and Cleaner Key Chain

5. Sleepy Pusheen Compact Mirror

6. Sleepy Pusheen Bookmarks

7. Ghosts by Raina Telgemeier

8. Meddling Kids by Edgar Cantero

9. One Bloody Thing After Another by JoeyComeau

10. Ice Cream Pusheen Apron

 All you have to do to enter...

~ Like the Fluffy the Vampire Slayer Facebook Page.

~ Comment on the Giveaway post why you follow Fluffy the Vampire Slayer.

~ Share the Fluffy the Vampire Slayer Facebook page.

Good luck and I'll be picking a winner at random on Monday, February 28 and they'll be contacted via Facebook.

I really enjoyed unboxing the Glamour Ghoul Boxes. The owner took a break for a few years ~ my last unboxing was November 2018 ~ but now she's back! I had to get the inaugural box, AND it's bat themed. Yes, yes I opened a bat themed box before, but really you can't have too many bats! My friend Jodee Bowie joined me for the unboxing. There's a video, but please be gentle, we are way out of practice. A couple of things after watching...

~ I forgot to look at the camera most of the time.

~ Watch the WHOLE thing because I name two giveaways I am doing. One of them starts today 2/10/2022!

~ We learn Jodee likes "sexy" books.

There's quite a lot of products in a small box!

1. Bat zipper bag by Gorejess Labratory. I have a necklace from her too!

2. Bookmark from Little Black Bats. Super nicely packaged.

3. Red bat wing hair clips from Bow So Creepy. She makes earrings too!

4. Bat Sticker. I had to do some digging because I didn't know who it was from. Celestial July Art. It's already stuck to my filing cabinet.

5. Black "Underworld" Liquid Lipstick from Incanto Cosmetics. I put it on my hand and it smudged a little but didn't fully come off for a full day! I'd say that's really impressive.

6. Cute black and white striped soap "It's Fricken Bats" with bats on the top from The Painted Cat. It's nice because it's not overly scented.

7. Bat necklace from Murderous Jewels. It's lightweight and delicate, I can layer it with my other bat necklace from her. 

All in all, I'd say this was a great box. I always like finding new independent small businesses in these boxes. Looking forward to The Crow one in March. Stay tuned and remember it can't rain all the time.

You can see other Glamour Ghoul unboxings here...

Glamour Ghoul Craft Box

Glamour Ghoul All Hallow's Eve Box

Glamour Ghoul Hellraiser Box w Jodee Bowie

Glamour Ghoul Labyrinth Box w Jodee Bowie

Glamour Ghoul Batty Box

Glamour Ghoul Classic Horror Box

Glamour Ghoul Luna Box

p.s. Check out Vision Video band.

The last book I read was Yours Cruelly, Elvira: Memoirs of the Mistress of the Dark by Cassandra Peterson, after all she is my girl crush. I did a very brief review for Auxiliary Magazine. For as funny as Elvira is, her book reflects her sense of humor but also the extreme ups and downs of show biz. It was a little heavy, so I wanted to read something lighter. That's how I ended up with Practical Magic by Alice Hoffman. Ironically, I only recently saw the movie for the first time. You know me, I much prefer blood and guts to a dramatic love story. I found the movie entertaining though, and heard that the book was very different. Why not give it a try? 

Compared to the lighthearted movie, the book is more serious and deals with relationships. (So much for getting away from heavy stuff. At least these characters aren't real, like Elvira!) Relationships between sisters, partners, and parental guardians and how they grow and change over time. Since I saw the movie first, I kept picturing the characters as the actors that played them. I think they were well cast. 

The book takes place in the suburbs, and the aunts and spells pay a very minor role compared to relationships and accidental murder. That being said, it ends on a happy note, there's lots of black cats, and it has even spawned 3 more books based on the Owens family. I recommend it for a quick read.

I now understand all the hype surrounding Parasite. It came out in 2019, won an Oscar for Best Film, and was the first non-English speaking movie to win. It has a complicated storyline about class, their smells, some side plots, all shrouded in a dark comedy thriller. I'll give you the gist in a very small nutshell, but you really have to see it for yourself.

***WARNING MINOR SPOILERS***

Parasite is about two Korean families that both end up being parasites to each other. The Kim family is poor, and they live in a messy, dirty, basement apartment, and the Parks live in a famous house built by a world renowned architect. The son of the Kims gets invited to tutor the daughter of the Parks in English. He's charming and quickly accepted into their family. All the Kim family members eventually infiltrate the Park household after sabotaging the old hired help and faking qualifications. They begin making good money from the Parks, and before you know it, everything is looking up for the Kims and going as planned. BUT the Parks don't know the Kims are related! They put up an amazing front with their street smarts and completely con the Park family! Until...

The old housekeeper that was replaced by Mrs. Kim comes back for something she forgot in the basement. It ends up going off the rails, mayhem ensues, but there are hints throughout that she knows more than she lets on about the house. 

People get stabbed at a kid's birthday party where the theme is "Indians". Yes, there's a huge class divide and there's also racism going on. It's offensive and really makes you hate the Park family even more. It's the icing on the "metaphorical" birthday cake.  

Overall, it's a great story. If you're a fan of horror movies it has a nice build up at the end, the scenes are shot with a deep colorful palette, keep track of lighting since it plays a significant role, and note what family goes up and down the stairs. At first, I didn't like the Kims because they were scamming a naive rich family, then I didn't like the Parks because they are people that are terrible as a result of their lifestyle. So much to see and interpret, I may need to watch it again. If you can get past reading subtitles and over two hours run time, it's worth it. I give it five out of five peaches.

Trailer...

You've probably noticed I've been writing less about cats. Since Ginger died almost a year ago, I'm having a hard time even thinking about cats. Kinda sucks since most of my clothes have cats on them and the name of my shop is Cats Like Us. The idea of cats doesn't bring me the childlike joy it once did because when I think of cats, I think of Ginger, and then I think she's dead and never coming back. It feels like a downer all the time, and I really hope some day this dark feeling will go away. Not a day goes by that I don't think about her, and I still get emotional over her not being around. On the upside, we have Vicktor. 

Vicktor is a senior citizen at 19ish. He's very much still Andrew's cat, but he is much nicer to me since Ginger's passing. He sits on my lap more and swats at me less, not that he swatted that much before. I always said he's bitchy and can be very moody, but over the years he's slowed down a bit. He hangs out with me, purrs a lot, and I call him my boyfriend.

Breakfast with Vicktor on my lap.

Recently, we noticed he was losing weight. Vicktor has always been on the bigger side for a cat, but never obese. He started leaving us "presents" around the house in the form of poo nuggets that were the size of bouncy balls and hard as rocks. Side note: Years ago when we first got Vicktor he was sitting on Andrew's lap (or should I say sh!tting on Andrew's lap?) and when he got up left a poop smear, so on came the nicknames... Stinky Poo Kitty or Poop Kitty or Sir Stinks-A-Lot or Mr. Stinks. It's a theme and the hard poops were a bad sign.

Off to the vet we went. The vets will try to be nice when we bring Vicktor in, and they call him "handsome, but energetic" and "a grumpy old man".  Yes, we know he's a pain in the ass, especially if he doesn't know you. They did blood work, and we discovered he has the beginning of kidney disease. We were advised to give him special food. Vicktor will eat anything so, no problem. 

He's also now taking a stool softener and powdered fiber...like the kind people take for his hard, small poops. 

We've been giving all this to him in addition to his regular Cosequin for about a month now. (We stopped the Cat Lax and pumpkin.) The funny part is he's getting sick of the special kidney food, so we mix in no-salt chicken broth, tuna juice, or regular food. He's back to pooping like a champ, and we're excited to see poo logs instead of nuggets in the litter box. It's the little things, right? So when your cats poops look different, you might need a vet visit.

I think that if you like The Babysitter, you might like All Cheerleaders Die it's bad disowned third cousin. Although not quite as funny and filmed like a 1980s objectification of women slasher, it's mildly entertaining and has a place among high school-teen-drama-horror. (Is that a genre? Well, it is now.)

*Spoiler Alert*

It has all the stereotypes... cheerleaders that are conceded and hot, jocks that are immature, a homely girl that's the mascot, stoner kids, a weird girl that's a witch, and the main character, Maddy, that wants to infiltrate the cool clique to get revenge for her dead friend and ruin her scummy ex-boyfriend's senior year. It doesn't take much for Maddy to do just that, but a tragic car accident happens, killing all the girls in the car, including Maddy. Unbeknownst to her, her ex-girlfriend that's infatuated with her, is a powerful witch that does some blood and crystal magic bringing her, and the snooty cheerleaders back to life. So now Maddy is linked to the cheerleaders she doesn't even like. They become a man eating girl gang of the undead, but can only hide their secret for so long.

All Cheerleaders Die starts off pretty light and predictable, so you think it's going to be a horror comedy (the main reason I wanted to watch it), but there are darker things in the plot going on, and I'm not talking about the witch stuff. Trigger warning...there's physical abuse. A girl gets punched in the face by her boyfriend in front of her friends, there's a rape, and there's a violent cat killing. Don't worry, the cat gets resurrected, but the other things you can't fix. 

Entertaining yes, reinventing the wheel no. It does a disservice to practicing Wiccans stating more than once magic is "crazy Wicca bullshit". The camera angles focus a little too long on the butts and boobs of the hot chicks. And the lesbian angle seemed played up for guys watching the movie to fulfill a lesbian fantasy. I give it almost two out of five cartwheels.

Trailer Warning *you see the cat die in it*