The Long Night (2022) aka The Coven  isn’t groundbreaking by any means, but it has some striking visuals that would make great one off sn...

Movie: The Long Night (2022)

 The Long Night (2022) aka The Coven isn’t groundbreaking by any means, but it has some striking visuals that would make great one off snapshots, not a full length movie. I almost didn't even want to make a blog out of it because it's not worth the time. 


In the whirlwind beginning, we learn about Grace and Jack, a young couple both trying to learn about each other's past. He comes from a rich Hamptons family, and she has been researching her parentage for 10 years. So when she gets a lead to meet her parents, she takes advantage, and they go on a road trip from New York to the deep south. When they arrive at the appointed secluded plantation, odd things begin happening. Grace starts to have dreams and waking visions of a cult in robes, wearing horns and carrying torches. There’s snakes and totems everywhere, and their mysterious homeowner never arrives. Day turns to night, and the cult she sees in her mind is real and surrounding the house. Jack thinks it’s a “good ‘ol boys” southern threat, but Grace seems to know more, we think? Both of them are really scared and intimidated, and the stand-off drags on. She continues going in and out of trances, where the viewer doesn’t know if her visions are real or in her head, or what exactly is going on. The cult members enter the house, attack Jack, and lure Grace out. There are supernatural elements at work, and it’s revealed that there’s a prophecy. Grace is the only one that can free the serpent demon and bring him back. The demon has been a prisoner of the plantation land, and she was born to be it’s host. In a nice contrast, instead of fighting at the climax of the movie, she agrees to “rid the world from pain” and takes the demon into her body. You follow me so far?

It’s broken into chapters that seem redundant, not to mention many slow motion shots trying to fill the space of the movie. The characters actions throughout the movie are extremely questionable and make no sense. I think I yelled WTF at the screen at least three times. The camera angles are strong, there’s a couple jump scares lead by sounds or music, the tone is suspenseful, and the idea of the cult leader being a woman is unexpected. The plot line and the acting are the major flaws in this movie, and watching it makes for a long night. Pun intended. I give this movie one out of five glowing vaginas. (You'd have to watch the whole movie to get the reference, I don't recommend it.)

Trailer, (honestly just watch the trailer, you don't need anything else.)